Tuesday, July 6, 2010


Warning: profanities ahead!

Na uh, I'm not talking about Sean Connery's nemesis in that 1962 Bond movie!

This is a different script and yes, she's got a story to tell.  Dr. No is her boss. An old fashioned kind of a boss where everything is ruled under his thumb . She is of course a capable and experienced assistant.  Previously, her working relationships with her former boss was excellent. Works were done smoothly and delivered according to the standardized 'quality control' management  as befitting a large and established organization, spanning over 100 years since  it was first established.

1st Issue:
Tacky and oh so yesterday! So, in this age of IT, imagine her astonishment upon discovering that almost half of the works are done manually! She has to lug around a big, thick and heavy bound diary (this being Dr. No's planner/calendar) whereas  you could  just key in everything in your MS Outlook calendar!! The weight of that thing is almost fetching 2kgs! She asked the former assistant, why are we using this thing? It's soooo damn heavy. Are we not using that computer? PC tu perhiasan ja ka? The former assistant snorted: Hehhh, dia tu? He prefers to do half of the things around here manually!  The other day, she was extremely busy and didn't hear him calling for her. So, when she finally heard him, she dashed inside his office and attend to his 'beck and call'. Then, this Dr. No said: I don't like to use the intercom. Next time, I'd be using this bell so that I don't have to call your name repeatedly (he then proceed to lift up and rang the bell - the kind that you see in a Christmas card picture. Yes, that bell!, no fucking joke!). Of course, she was aghast. This is not the colonial era, for pete's sake!) So, she plowed in directly: "Please don't. We don't have to resort to that. Please just call my name" (inside she was cursing like mad: bell? i'm not a fucking cow! just burn that damn intercom!) God, this is armageddon!

2nd Issue:
Working hours. As she is staying quite far from the office, working hours have to be adjusted a bit.  She doesn't drive, nor does she own a car although she's planning to get around that, one of these days. So, in the beginning when she reported to work, she had sat and discussed about her transportation issue with Dr. No. Him being a Dr. No, this was his verdict:

"I start my day in the office from 7.30am until maybe 7-7.30pm. So I expect my staff to do so"

She bargained: I know, but there should be a way of compromise no? If I am needed to stay back, needed to
 take care of urgent tasks, then I am prepared to do so. As I am a woman, one who boards two busses to and fro everyday, that 7-7.20pm is very late. It's dangerous. I am prepared to stay back  until 6.30pm though.

Dr. No's answer:  Well, that's not my problem. It's yours to solve! I EXPECT my staff to do things according to my standard.  (translated as: fuck that transportation, you are to stay back in the office until I leave this fucking chair!) Shit!

Well, she might be a very dedicated assistant, but she isn't a stupid fool either. Why does she have to hang around the office when she has completed her work for the day? Another shitload of craps!

3rd Issue:
"You are my absolute coolie and I am the ultimate boss"  He doesn't have to say it verbally.  He is literally walking and breathing the air with chips on his shoulders as big as the Mt. Kinabalu.  Everyone is scared of Dr. No. EVERYONE!

So, what shall she do? Just endure it? For how long? She hopes for the sake of her sanity, Dr. No will leave quickly. Little birdie whistled to her that, yes, he will. Maybe next year!

Hallelujah! She'll drink to that...


  1. OMG. What horror! I hope Dr. NO gets the pox and then swine flu and then malaria so he could stay in-bed for the rest of the year. Sian ko mandak.

  2. Lizee, ini la nasib ni. not to mention those lecturers yg outsiders bah! I think, by staying here, i'd aged faster!

  3. What nonsense. I hate bosses who expect staff to slog like donkeys like them as if the staff has as much interest in the company like they have!

    I hate staying back, it's NOT a sign of being hardworking, but being a suckup lazy ass prick who cannot accomplish work within normal office hours.

    Excuse my language, but bollocks!

  4. Dan,
    that's true. I'll start leaving early today. I don't give a shit anymore. This week has been a horror to me.


Disclaimer: All rights reserved. Contents in this blog might be deemed unsuitable for minors. Parental supervision is required. Articles and images from this blog site are wholly owned by the writer, unless stated as otherwise. Reproducing any of its contents without the writer's consent is strictly prohibited!