Monday, May 25, 2009

The Super Duper Jumbo Crappy Day!

this is a loooong entry but it did happen to me.

the day is not yet over. it still has about 1hr and 45minutes before the new day begins and i'm ending it feeling like shit!!! and best of all, bewilderment, daze, anger, confusions! Those words are best describing the ME, MYSELF & I today :(

to sum it up, the story goes like this:

about 9.00-ish pm, i was happily watching the telly. when i happened to enter my room, my cellphone screen displayed 5 missed calls. I checked the number and it was from one of my friend, a guy to be precised. i didn't think much about those missed calls cause i was thinking like "well, if it's something then i'm sure he'd call back" so, i left it like tht and continued gluing myself in front of the telly. several moments later, my cellphone beeped, indicating 1 message received. i checked the message and imagine my bewilderment when this message appeared on the screen:

"hi, saya harap kamu tahu saya sgt mencintai suami saya"
translated in english: "hi, just to let you know. I love my husband dearly"

at first, i thought this guy friend was playing joke on me. so, i simply replied his text msg:
"lol, wtf is this msg? sia nda faham la. sori, hp kat my room. tengah syok tingu tv (i don't understand. sorry, my cellphone was in my room. i was watching tv)

as soon as i hit the send button, his call came in. BUT, it wasn't him at all. it was a woman! imagine my bewilderment when the woman said:

"do you know Mr. X?" (referring to my friend of course)

I said, "yes. why? what is this about?"

woman caller: "i am his wife's bestfriend. i'm calling on behalf of her. I hope you could explain the nature of your relationship with Mr. X. you know, he is married with kid and his wife is like suffering because of your relationship with him. I hope you'd understand her situation and suffering. please, i beg you, please don't wreck their marriage. She's thinking of going back to Sabah with the kid because she's heartbroken"

i was like "Jesus, is this woman for real?".

I said, "what jokes are you playing ? since when do i have illicit affair with your bestfriend's husband? I believe, and I can assure you tht our relationship is nothing like tht. I treat him like any other friends in my Facebook friend list. after all, it's only natural, us being Sabahans in WM, of course we want to connect with each other, it's a nice thing to meet up with fellow Sabahans. it brings back the sabahans spirits. Don't get me wrong, he's not the only Sabahan in my Facebook. Dozens are in the list too and i occasionally meet them up for mamak or drinks session. sure, we go makan like two three times but that's that. nothing less, nothing more. i have never given him any impressions of liking him more than friends. I think i've made myself very clear in the beginning that right now, man/woman thing relationship is definitely not on my list. i'm enjoying my freedom and all i want to have now is friendship, real, honest friendship, no hidden agenda."

however the woman caller insisted that Mr. X has admitted that we're in a relationship! i was like, "what? what relationship? now you're making me upset. to tell you the truth, this makes me want to puke. this gives me goosebumps, this disgusts the hell out of me. Now, i'm fucking mad at him. I'm not insane, my mama didn't teach me to go and seduce other woman's husband."

woman caller: "maybe he fell for your charm. maybe you're sweet to him"

i said, : "yeah, right. don't get me started. my charm? charm my ass! sweet my foot! i'm a very straight forwand kind of a woman. i say whatever inside my mind and my heart, faster than the rocket launcher. I don't know how to act sweet, most of the time i talk more like guys cause i've been around them for so long. cousins, friends, most of them are guys. and i sometimes think that most guys are intimidated by me. So, don't start spewing nonsense about me being sweet on him."

woman caller: "ok, i believe you. i understand. i can tell from the way you talk over the phone. it's just that ever since my friend read your emails to Mr. X, she's been working herself up to a lather, agonizing because of your supposed relationship with her husband."

I said "eh, i don't think there's anything illicit with my emails. they're normal emails, no incriminating evidence of me 'flaming the bed to ashes' with Mr. X. If you don't believe me, i can forward you those emails. I don't think your friend is stupid enough for making the worst assumption from those emails. Pls tell her that, she can stop worrying. There's nothing going on between the two of us. if he admitted that he has feelings for me, then it's a one sided thing. I DON'T, CAN'T, NEVER, have affair with Mr. X, EVER!"

woman caller: "ok, i believe you. i'll makesure that my bestfriend knows about this. thanks for your time and explanation. sorry for troubling you like this."

a small consolation, we ended up our conversation with decent civil manners. because, apparently, we both are not stupid women. it's a relief that we didn't end up like those stupid/shallow women in the Malay drama, rivaling for the love and attention of one wayward stupid he-jerk.

well, i had a suspicion that the caller was Mr. X's wife herself, pretending to be the bestfriend. just to catch me off guard. I did ask her something like "are you the wife? you maybe pretending to be the wife's bestfriend. if yes, then you may stop pretending now. i've got nothing to hide, i know i did nothing wrong." the woman caller said "no, i'm the bestfriend. i'm living next door. we're having BBQ party at their house tonight"

BBQ party, my ass. If yes, then why did it sounded like she's in a tomb or something?

...i say, the nerve of Mr. X! how could he did something like this? Christ, we're just friends and you started doing something like this? i'm afraid, i'll have to drop you off from my FB friend list.

definitely a crappy day! shitttt..!


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Joke Of The Day...

...funny ha ha entry to loosen up our kinks :D

GENEALOGY
a little girl asked her mother, 'how did the human race appear?' the mother answered 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made'

two days later, the girl asked her father the same question. the father answered 'many years ago, there were monkeys form which the human race evolved.'

the confused girl returned to her mother and said 'mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and dad said they developed from monkey?' the mother answered, 'well, dear, it is very simple. i told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

SERVICE
sex is like a restaurant. sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service! 

WHY DOES A WOMAN WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND?
H - housing
U - understanding
S - sharing
B - buying
A - and
N -never
D - demanding

WHY DOES A MAN WANT TO HAVE A WIFE?
W - washing
I - ironing
F - food
E - entertainment

...really? i'll kick my future husband's balls blue black if he thinks that i'm his housekeeper!

NAMES OF WIVES
a man had 4 wives, and he called his...
4th wife ... baby doll
3rd wife ... china doll
2nd wife ... barbie doll
1st wife ... panadol!

SWIMSUIT
why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? to seperate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section..

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl...(yikes, old fart is sure a pervert!) on their first night, both were crying - why? coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything! (or may be his virility has deserted him eons ago...lol) 

ENGLISH TEACHER
make sentence using 'Neither-Nor.'  naughty boy students when girls wear tight fitting dresses, 'NEITHER are they comfortable, NOR are we!

DENTIST
woman complaining to dentist: 'it's so painful, i'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.' dentist: 'make up your mind soon, i'll adjust the chair accordingly' (what a kinky dentist!)


 

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sumandak and her pantyhose

..well, i believe, OL (office ladies) are pretty fond of this particular item of women's clothing. Me, i wear them everyday to work. It gives (lol..) your gams a nice silhouette and best of all, kalau ada parut2 yg hodoh (tak kira la besar 5, 10, 20, 50 sen ka) semua tanggung beres kalau pakai pantyhose hehehehe :P and i think, guys also curik2 jeling if they see ladies wearing pantyhose.


but psssst..my main reason for wearing pantyhose is because, mau cover my ankle tats bah! after all, i'm working in "a bit of a conservative environment" and tats i think, is clearly prohibited. well, at least not visible. however, mine is in my ankle. it's clearly visible! So, I have to wear pantyhose or tights. The downside is, i have to get  new pairs like every two three days cause they always ripped off! no idea on how they ended up like that. I'd only realized that after work!

lol, now i have quite a selection of colors. Grey, black, brown, nude n lumionous (my favourite ones), navy blue etc. the only thing i don't have is fishnet stockings. Hah, if i wear that, i'm pretty sure that i'd scandalized myself even further!! Let me tell you,  the women in my office either wear baju kurung, batik or slack with looooong jubah. i'm the only who wears shirt/blouse and knee length skirts. so, you can say that i'm an oddball among them normal colleagues...not to mention the only Sabahan :)

...ok, i've thrashed another pair yesterday. so, i think am gonna head off to the nearest shopping mall and get myself maybe a dozen more? tsk tsk tsk...

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Table Has Been Turned..

...on against "mr. houdini"

yes, I am being cruel and YES, I AM BEING A BITCH! mind you, not a bitch in the heat okay?! the last straw came when "mr. houdini" pretended to forget to wish me happy birthday and happy valentine's day. i mean, what kind of a boyfriend who totally left his girlfriend alone on her birthday and valentine's day by herself?? well, his disappearing acts is legendary..

so, imagine my dismayed when 2 months later he casually appeared in front of me and pretended that everything is sunny and bright and i would willingly open up my arms widely to welcome him back! Sorry, it's too late now. You're not welcome in my world anymore. Your magic tricks have ran out of their course. They have lost their appeal. You're regretting it now, but i am relieved to know that i am not in love with you anymore, not now, not ever! You're asking for another chance but NO, no more. We're finished, finito, pause, full stop, gone baby gone. you are a history that needs to be tightly locked up in a pyramid-like tomb. You're like "If only i could turn back time, i wish to be a better boyfriend for you" but let me refresh your memory. I've given you chances to "turn back time" repeatedly but you failed yourself and you failed our relationship. Well, this time around, ADIOS....and if you happen to stumble upon this blog, i hereby announce to you again (aside from my last "i'm breaking up with you" text message):

"No Hard Feelings But You've Been Dumped"

i've finally bid goodbye to an emotionally draining relationship and boy, the feeling is divine :)


Thursday, May 14, 2009

Ya Taaa! ( I did it..! )

Yep, I did it!

..what did I do? no, it's not about what i've done. I'm refering to my previous entry 'The Hitler Interviewers"

Yes, i got the job. in fact, last monday was my first day reporting to work. so far, it looks promising. I've got great colleagues and my lady boss appears to be okay (but i'll leave a blank spot to be filled in on this one. it's too early to speculate!)

lol, everyone says "meet our new team, the one who came from Sabah" followed by a collective statements of "ooooh, patutlah, that accent" (again...i've been hearing this for the last 4 1/2 yrs! and yes, by the end of this year it's gonna be my 5th yr in KL) quite an accomplishment, don't you think?

hmmm...i have a sense of contentment whenever i hear the statement "oh, that accent"
in my own interpretation, it's translated as "you're unique" and yeah, Sabahans are truly unique people. It's an undisputable fact :)

workwise? am liking it here...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Hello From Ireland...

Aye, aye...what happened???

Lately, my FB inbox has been flooded with friend requests from Irish people. Some have even asked me out for coffee (does Irish people drink coffee? - they must be) and beer. They thought i'm in Ireland..am flabbergested, i mean didn't they read my profile? i have to reply:

"lovely, but am living on the other side of the continents and we can only do coffee and beers in our dreams"

and they go like: "err, you're not from Ireland? i thought you are"

eh???? did FB somehow ommitted my 'networks and current city info?' ...... i don't think so..

never mind, i did aprrove a few of those friend requests...where's the harm in that? i only hope that they are not axe murderers moonlighting in FB, lol!


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