A chat with my west msian friend - sabah, according to his testimonial

...snippets of the conversations:

nghanseng: i was offered to go back sabah, kk. but i declined. better offer there actually...
enniemye: why? gaji tak siok?
nghanseng: 25% higher than in kl,
enniemye: den?
nghanseng: but i dun wan cos its too far
enniemye: same like kota baru la. you drive there how many hrs?
nghanseng: plus benefit not so good. KB lain la... can drive home anytime, since i travelling one...
enniemye: i can't wait to go back. new happening things in KK are abundance
nghanseng: yes, lots and lots...but i miss the most is the drive from kk - sdk.  and the food...
enniemye: yep, i miss the food
nghanseng: that mountain is beautiful........
nghanseng: and the ladies...
enniemye: why? the ladies are friendly but we're not bitchy  ^-^
nghanseng: hahaha,  friendly lar, the trademark of ppl from the east mah. not like the west. sikit sikit ingat kita laki gatal...
enniemye: what about here? overly friendly ka atau sombong?
nghanseng: here? sombong lar. like i said, if in sabah, i said hi or smile sure smile or hi balik one. in kl, the lady will think i sudah gila
enniemye: sombong but they are the one who normally get kantoi in the end haahhaha, methinks :P
nghanseng: most probably will taser me to oblivion!
enniemye: LOL!! here, they don't say hi to men. they say, let's go khalwat! better yet, they'd give their love freely to 'awang hitam' 
nghanseng: LOL!!!!

..sorry, no pun intended. it's just a joke not a statement. don't raise your hackles guys and gals. peace :)

Joke Of The Day...

...funny ha ha entry to loosen up our kinks :D

GENEALOGY

a little girl asked her mother, 'how did the human race appear?' the mother answered 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made'

two days later, the girl asked her father the same question. the father answered 'many years ago, there were monkeys form which the human race evolved.'

the confused girl returned to her mother and said 'mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and dad said they developed from monkey?' the mother answered, 'well, dear, it is very simple. i told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

SERVICE

sex is like a restaurant. sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service! 

WHY DOES A WOMAN WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND?

H - housing

U - understanding

S - sharing

B - buying

A - and

N -never

D - demanding

WHY DOES A MAN WANT TO HAVE A WIFE?

W - washing

I - ironing

F - food

E - entertainment

...really? i'll kick my future husband's balls blue black if he thinks that i'm his housekeeper!

NAMES OF WIVES

a man had 4 wives, and he called his...

4th wife ... baby doll

3rd wife ... china doll

2nd wife ... barbie doll

1st wife ... panadol!

SWIMSUIT

why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? to seperate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section..

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL

75yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl...(yikes, old fart is sure a pervert!) on their first night, both were crying - why? coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything! (or may be his virility has deserted him eons ago...lol) 

ENGLISH TEACHER

make sentence using 'Neither-Nor.'  naughty boy students when girls wear tight fitting dresses, 'NEITHER are they comfortable, NOR are we!

DENTIST

woman complaining to dentist: 'it's so painful, i'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.' dentist: 'make up your mind soon, i'll adjust the chair accordingly' (what a kinky dentist!)

 

Office Kamasutra

Last Weekend, my girlfriend and I hit the bookshop in Mid Valley - MPH Bookstore. While wandering around, we came accross with this little handbook. Naturally, we flipped it open and started to scan the illustrations inside, and *lol* what we found was quite amusing and hillarious. In fact, we were giggling like school girls, accompanied by occasional wow, oooh, and ahhh!
I've managed to snap a picture of the book's front cover with my camera phone. Yep, the above pic was the result.

Kamasutra, internet's version *lol* -^^-

How's that for a change? :-P

The Prison & The Prisoner

The bride tells her husband , "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison."

And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction. Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him." After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!"


***************************


:-) Have a nice weekend ahead

Bra Codes

This is hillarious but strangely fits the descriptions *lol*




Have you ever wondered why bras are lettered A,B,C,D,DD,E,F,G,H and how the letters are actually used to define bra sizes?

Ok, i'm missing the "G" part here but ummm let me transcribe, "G" for GARGANTUAN may be? Ummm...somehow I find myself singing the 'ewwwwwwwwwwwww tunes' mentally...

What if a man gets pregnant?

blardy hell...can you imagine it? Hahahaha...

True or False?

Now, now...I'm not talking about some puzzle here. I'm gonna post an article here, which I have received in my inbox this morning. It's in Malay and malas la nak translate in English. It's too long. So, I'll just cut and paste it here :-)

He he he.... cintailah bahasa kebangsaan kita

ORANG YANG TIDAK JUJUR :
Orang yang kalau kentut salahkan orang lain

ORANG SOK :
Orang yang tak sadar kalau dia tengah kentut

ORANG SENGSARA :
Orang yang mau kentut tapi tak boleh

ORANG YANG MISTERI :
Jika dia kentut, orang lain tak tau

ORANG GUGUP :
Orang yang tiba2 menahan kentutnya saat kentut

ORANG BANGGA :
Orang yang ingat kentut dia wangi

ORANG SADIS :
Orang yang kalau habis kentut, kentutnya dikibaskan dekat orang lain

ORANG PEMALU :
Orang yang kentut tak bunyi, tapi malu sendiri

ORANG BANYAK IDEA :
Orang yang menyembunyikan kentutnya dengan tertawa terbahak-bahak

ORANG YANG BERJIMAT :
Orang yang habis kentut, menghirup kentutnya sendiri untuk menggantikan kentutnya yang keluar

ORANG PEMARAH :
Kentutnya sungguh panas berapi

ORANG SOMBONG :
Orang yang kalau dia terkentut, akan diceritakan kentutnya itu berasal dari restoran mahal

ORANG BOSAN:
Orang yang kalau kentut atau orang lain kentut, riak mukanya sama sahaja seperti tiada apa2 berlaku

ORANG RAMAH :
Orang yang suka mencium kentut orang lain

ORANG YANG AKUATIK :
Orang yang hobi kentut di dalam air

ORANG YANG ATHLETIC :
Orang yang kentut sambil mengeluarkan tenaga dalaman

ORANG JUJUR :
Orang yang mengaku bila habis kentut meskipun orang lain tak tanya

ORANG KUAT INGATAN :
Orang yang boleh tahu kentut orang lain dengan bau, bunyi serta kehangatannya

ORANG MALANG :
Orang lain yang kentut, tapi dia yang selalu kena

ORANG MUZIK :
Orang yang kentutnya berirama

ORANG INTERNET :
Orang yang bunyi kentutnya macam bunyi modem

ORANG KERAS KEPALA :
Orang yang terus balas kentut jika ada orang lain yang berani kentut di depannya

ORANG TAK GUNA :
Orang yang mengentuti orang lain tepat di mukanya