"Dear, U are invited to my birthday barbeque party at A'famosa on 14th Feb..U can bring along ya friends"
That was the content of an SMS that was sent to me last week. I didn't bother replying, as the number is as alien as Jar Jar from Gungan City (in Star Wars movie) to me. On Monday, when I checked back the conversation features in my mobile, the message jumped up on the screen. So, curious creature that I am, I decided to reply: "Anyhoo..thanks for the invite. Malacca is a bit far from me at the moment as I am now at the other side of the ocean. So, who this again?"
The reply came:
"Oh..I am hairy..we've met a couple of times before. Once at your friend's birthday bash and at RumJung"
Me: Hairy? you mean, you're hairy as opposed to hairless?
Hairy: No la. Just Harry. I intentionally spelled my name wrongly..hehehe
Me: Oh..thank god for that. If you're hairy..that's uhh..ok. case closed.
Me: Wow..I am sorry. To be fair, I don't remember you. You're talkin about which friend?
Harry: Your friend la, S.
Me: Ok..now I remember (the fact is: NO, I don't remember this guy) Well, It's been like 2 years and gosh, you still keep my number?
Harry: Of course. You left a quite lasting impressions to me. I remember you being this petite and sassy lady..so, you're coming to my party or not?
Me: Lasting impressions..mmmhh..I wonder what those impressions are.. (and..I am still trying to figure out this bloke's face, to which until now I can't still recall his face!)
Harry: Oh..believe me. You and your moments..you and your EM counterparts are fun, as in F.U.N! hehehe
Me: Fun? Ok, that's cliche..I believe, everyone has their fun side. If that has some double entendre meaning, I can assure you, I'm not spelled in F.U.N.
Harry: hehehe..ok. ok..you sure you're not going? C'mon, it'll be fun. I've secured a bungalow, there will be about 30 guests, free flowing drinks, bbq pit, some games.. besides, you're fun..
Me: Nah, don't think can make it. You guys have fun ok?
Harry: :-( too bad. I'm actually looking forward to your company..Next time then? Ok?
I'm not a paranoid bitch but when he mentioned about securing a bungalow, 30 guests, free flowing drinks and some games, that sounded like some full-blown orgies to me. Besides, I'm not aspiring to be on the 8 O'clock prime time news nor being subjected on the front page headlines. It's 14th Feb, the month of love, la luna de amor or as TV3's 999 will phrase: bulan maksiat, I'm sure all those Anti-vice enforcements will be put on the look out for these type of activities. You bet!
Besides, I've got no interest with someone whom I presumably met two years ago and out of the blue contacted me, spewing nonsense about lasting impressions. That's so meh! Furthermore, I refuse to be some decoration, appetizer, side dish or main dish to those testosterone-laden vultures!
Sweet god, no!