Joke Of The Day...

...funny ha ha entry to loosen up our kinks :D

GENEALOGY

a little girl asked her mother, 'how did the human race appear?' the mother answered 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and then all mankind was made'

two days later, the girl asked her father the same question. the father answered 'many years ago, there were monkeys form which the human race evolved.'

the confused girl returned to her mother and said 'mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God and dad said they developed from monkey?' the mother answered, 'well, dear, it is very simple. i told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.'

SERVICE

sex is like a restaurant. sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service! 

WHY DOES A WOMAN WANT TO HAVE A HUSBAND?

H - housing

U - understanding

S - sharing

B - buying

A - and

N -never

D - demanding

WHY DOES A MAN WANT TO HAVE A WIFE?

W - washing

I - ironing

F - food

E - entertainment

...really? i'll kick my future husband's balls blue black if he thinks that i'm his housekeeper!

NAMES OF WIVES

a man had 4 wives, and he called his...

4th wife ... baby doll

3rd wife ... china doll

2nd wife ... barbie doll

1st wife ... panadol!

SWIMSUIT

why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? to seperate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section..

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL

75yr old man got married to a 15 yr old girl...(yikes, old fart is sure a pervert!) on their first night, both were crying - why? coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything! (or may be his virility has deserted him eons ago...lol) 

ENGLISH TEACHER

make sentence using 'Neither-Nor.'  naughty boy students when girls wear tight fitting dresses, 'NEITHER are they comfortable, NOR are we!

DENTIST

woman complaining to dentist: 'it's so painful, i'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.' dentist: 'make up your mind soon, i'll adjust the chair accordingly' (what a kinky dentist!)

 

Sumandak and her pantyhose

..well, i believe, OL (office ladies) are pretty fond of this particular item of women's clothing. Me, i wear them everyday to work. It gives (lol..) your gams a nice silhouette and best of all, kalau ada parut2 yg hodoh (tak kira la besar 5, 10, 20, 50 sen ka) semua tanggung beres kalau pakai pantyhose hehehehe :P and i think, guys also curik2 jeling if they see ladies wearing pantyhose.

but psssst..my main reason for wearing pantyhose is because, mau cover my ankle tats bah! after all, i'm working in "a bit of a conservative environment" and tats i think, is clearly prohibited. well, at least not visible. however, mine is in my ankle. it's clearly visible! So, I have to wear pantyhose or tights. The downside is, i have to get  new pairs like every two three days cause they always ripped off! no idea on how they ended up like that. I'd only realized that after work!

lol, now i have quite a selection of colors. Grey, black, brown, nude n lumionous (my favourite ones), navy blue etc. the only thing i don't have is fishnet stockings. Hah, if i wear that, i'm pretty sure that i'd scandalized myself even further!! Let me tell you,  the women in my office either wear baju kurung, batik or slack with looooong jubah. i'm the only who wears shirt/blouse and knee length skirts. so, you can say that i'm an oddball among them normal colleagues...not to mention the only Sabahan :)

...ok, i've thrashed another pair yesterday. so, i think am gonna head off to the nearest shopping mall and get myself maybe a dozen more? tsk tsk tsk...

The Table Has Been Turned..

...on against "mr. houdini"

yes, I am being cruel and YES, I AM BEING A BITCH! mind you, not a bitch in the heat okay?! the last straw came when "mr. houdini" pretended to forget to wish me happy birthday and happy valentine's day. i mean, what kind of a boyfriend who totally left his girlfriend alone on her birthday and valentine's day by herself?? well, his disappearing acts is legendary..

so, imagine my dismayed when 2 months later he casually appeared in front of me and pretended that everything is sunny and bright and i would willingly open up my arms widely to welcome him back! Sorry, it's too late now. You're not welcome in my world anymore. Your magic tricks have ran out of their course. They have lost their appeal. You're regretting it now, but i am relieved to know that i am not in love with you anymore, not now, not ever! You're asking for another chance but NO, no more. We're finished, finito, pause, full stop, gone baby gone. you are a history that needs to be tightly locked up in a pyramid-like tomb. You're like "If only i could turn back time, i wish to be a better boyfriend for you" but let me refresh your memory. I've given you chances to "turn back time" repeatedly but you failed yourself and you failed our relationship. Well, this time around, ADIOS....and if you happen to stumble upon this blog, i hereby announce to you again (aside from my last "i'm breaking up with you" text message):

"No Hard Feelings But You've Been Dumped"

i've finally bid goodbye to an emotionally draining relationship and boy, the feeling is divine :)

Ya Taaa! ( I did it..! )

Yep, I did it!

..what did I do? no, it's not about what i've done. I'm refering to my previous entry 'The Hitler Interviewers"

Yes, i got the job. in fact, last monday was my first day reporting to work. so far, it looks promising. I've got great colleagues and my lady boss appears to be okay (but i'll leave a blank spot to be filled in on this one. it's too early to speculate!)

lol, everyone says "meet our new team, the one who came from Sabah" followed by a collective statements of "ooooh, patutlah, that accent" (again...i've been hearing this for the last 4 1/2 yrs! and yes, by the end of this year it's gonna be my 5th yr in KL) quite an accomplishment, don't you think?

hmmm...i have a sense of contentment whenever i hear the statement "oh, that accent"
in my own interpretation, it's translated as "you're unique" and yeah, Sabahans are truly unique people. It's an undisputable fact :)

workwise? am liking it here...

Hello From Ireland...

Aye, aye...what happened???

Lately, my FB inbox has been flooded with friend requests from Irish people. Some have even asked me out for coffee (does Irish people drink coffee? - they must be) and beer. They thought i'm in Ireland..am flabbergested, i mean didn't they read my profile? i have to reply:

"lovely, but am living on the other side of the continents and we can only do coffee and beers in our dreams"

and they go like: "err, you're not from Ireland? i thought you are"

eh???? did FB somehow ommitted my 'networks and current city info?' ...... i don't think so..

never mind, i did aprrove a few of those friend requests...where's the harm in that? i only hope that they are not axe murderers moonlighting in FB, lol!

Melting, Melting...SWEATING!

Yikes…..I am wilting away! This hot weather is playing havoc to my peace of mind, obviously! Restless, restless and restless. I know, it’s summer time in some part of the world now. We, in South East Asia (unfortunately) that’s Malaysia, so to speak, are suffering from this merciless heat. It's been unbearably hot and dry all week!


It has reaches to the boiling point, where days and nights are equally scorching hot! I am practically prancing around my house partially naked! Serves me right, cause I’ve never get around to contact my housemate’s handyman to install the AC on my room. It's still languishing inside the store room, collecting dust and rust. To be honest, I don’t really like AC that much. AC kinda gives me chill and makes my body aches, that’s why. Up until now, I am still depending on the conventional fan. Besides, it saves power and it doesn’t harm the earth.


Gawd, feels like want to stand in the shower for another 100 years more or so! That's it, if I don't become all dried up and brittle already...









...now, if only I look this cute when sweating!


Hah, NO, I don't! Need to drink gallons of water...go, get yourself some water. Need to take care of that skin complexion. Errrrrkkk???!

Are We Racist?

i  have to say that whatever corner of the world you're sleeping, eating and shitting (pardon the crude language) in right now, racism is still apparent in every culture.  In Malaysia, racism has been an ongoing debate among the rakyats (common people) and one has to thread carefully before making an open remarks, least that person could be carted away to the most feared 'dungeon' of so-called political justice systems. I do not want to elaborate on that 'dungeon' part cause i'm sure the political learned people knew what i'm talking about. 

As a Sabahan moonligthing in KL, I'm having my dose of homesickness for my hometown, everyday. Yes, got that? Every single day.  So, FB is the good getaway for me to interact with my fellow sabahans.  As it happens, there's a social link in FB for Sabahans as a virtual meeting point to express their ideas, opinions, basically their pride of being Sabahans. It's called, "I Come From Sabah and NO, We Do Not Live In Trees Or Wear Gigantic Leaves" So, there's a board discussion which carries a topic title like this : Are We Racist? Judging from the responses posted in the discussion board, East Malaysians believe that they are least racist compared to West Malaysians people. Below is the excerpt that I cut and pasted from the website:

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goddamit..i already try to post this topic three times oredy..dc dc dc..ARGHH..
anyway..are we racist..?

we can see this as DEFENDING our pride..right guys..?i mean..how come they still think that we livin in tree and wearing a cawat..wtf is that thinking..?

i really terharu when i saw the title of this group..haha..and im doing some rofl, lmao..hehe..

majority of our ppl can talk in proper english..and yet..its not american english..Britain english much better that american..how come colour spelled color..?heh.. what is the connection..?

can native ppl livin in the tree having conversation in 2nd world lang..?

evaluate it using logical not mulut org..gila ba diorg tu.

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Strongly disagree, Sabahans are famous not to be racist among anyone. Racism happens anywhere, only among those who possess low mentalities n wisdom. look at successful ppl, are they racist

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we are well taught ppl...we appreciate and praise those who achieve great heights in life unlike others who put all their strenght to condemn ppl that are better than themselves...because they have this gene-failure called the jealousy syndrome in their blood...look in jails you'll know how well they're taught by their parents...hahahahahah. conclusion...we racist? no. we are better.

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yes...sabahans are known to be friendliest amongst all and i am always proud to say im a sabahan. the living on a tree thing is common but can you guys imagine, just few months back somebody actually asked me " DOES YOUR MONEY LOOKS SAME LIKE OURS?" OMG!!!! That, my friend, is outrageous. Luckily it was a senior citizen and i managed to correct her in a diplomatic manner. talk about globalisation....

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Even though I moved to KL at the age of 7, I am still very much a Sabahan at heart !!!!!! And proud to be one :)-

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We Sabahan Racist ... NO ... I reiterate that ... No ... If there is any Racist in this Country it would be the West Malaysian ... Why ... Answer simple ... All of the racist news or people who advocate racism are West Malaysian's... What a lame bunch of lot these people are ... When i was young ... I use to mingle happily with Malay, Indian, Chinese, and Kadazan plus the mix... very well ... we use to eat all on the same table and share the same food and drinks... and we still do even now as we meet ... But can we see that in the west Malaysian ... No ... They Have thier Special groups ... Chinese=MCA .. Malay=UMNO, Indian=Mic .. so whose the racist now ...?? If i were to see some Chinese, Malay and Indian sitting together at a nasi kandar place drinking and chatting happily .. it would be my lucky day ... I would go and buy 4D!!! So if anyone condemn us Sabahan a Racist ... 1st thing i would do is ask him to fuck himself, eat shit, die and burn in hell !!!! Proud To Be a SABAHAN!!! WE are NO RACIST!!!  

P.s. We are a more and much well educated lot than these westerners ... who don't even know Geography and how to speak English well ....!!!

Sumandak kind of agrees with this one:

According to Human Right and Equal Committee Commission (1998) of Australia, racism is defined as:

“ an ideology that gives expression to myths about other racial and ethnic groups, that devalues and renders inferior those groups, that reflects and is perpetuated by deeply rooted historical, social, cultural and power inequalities in society”. 

My question to those who dare call themselves a non racist person:

1. Have you ever at any point reason a person base on their ethnicity/national group/race?

2. Have you ever at any point think that all (legal and illegal) immigrants in your area should die and burn in hell because you’re so disgusted with them?

3. Have you ever at any point think that your ethnicity/national group/race is superior to others?

4. Have you ever ridiculed a person for speaking a language or an accent different from yours?

5. Have you ever thought of uniting and destroying other national group/race/ethnicity?

6. Are you doing anything to stop racism? Or are you an exclusive member NATO?

I dare stand up and admit that I have at least once in my lifetime said/did sometime that suggest the act of racism. I am ashamed of this act and I pledge to stop it. 

RACISM IS BAD AND IT MUST STOP!

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Be proud! We are not racist. In fact, we have no problem joining the other races in KL. We can speak malay (sa sampai skrg tu slang sabah susah mo lari!) and also English. I can easily sit with the Indians, Malays, and Chinese. Maybe I being a Sino-Kadazan helps a lot.

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RACIST?

hahahahahahaha

org malaya mmg ada sikit problem bah pasal race ni

dah komuniti dorang itu mcm bah dari dulu. kawin campur sana meaning lain...Malay+Indian, Malay+Chinese, Indian+Chinese.... or lain2 lagi la cuba klu d sini, nah... ko check ja sodara2 ko tu ada dusun, ada bajau, ada brunei, ada sina.... campur2 bah suma sudah apa lagi kawin campur kunun, mmg sudah bacampur sia ja kan, klu d check butul2 kunun dusun+brunei+iranun+arab+brunei.... nah... apa sudah tu? klu ada Dusun/Kadazan yg kahwin, sure ada sodara mara muslim dorang yg masak utk jemputan muslim. tapi org melaya yg ndak tau tu ragu2 sikit mo makan kunun... mcm la org ndak tau bah kan. kotoh

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who call us racist? did anyone ever say that? among all the other states in malaysia we're the least racist of them all...seriously, im not kidding, when they are there sitting in groups, we sabahan jump from group to group no problem...but we rather stick with anther sabahan coz the negativity they're spreading are overwhelming

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hi, aku dr s'wak, saja2 masuk group ni sbb dia punya interesting topic....tapi seriously, spt kamurang ckp,mmg btul bah west malaysian ni racist...sbb dlm kelas aku, malay duduk dgn malay, cina duduk ngan cina n so on...tyme dkt matrix dulu ndak ada mcm tu, satu group bulih sampai 5 bangsa...satu lagi, ada kwn aku hari tu bah, bagi satu questionaire, ada satu soalan tanya, (lebih kurang begini la) "perlu kah di wujudkan satu budaya baru di m'sia utk mewujudkan perpaduan kaum?"aku pun jawab:"budaya baru? tidak perlu, sbb di sbah n s'wak perpaduan kaum mmg kukuh,tapi s'mnjg lain la" west malaysian yg ada masalah perpaduan kaum...so aku proud to be sarawakian n borneo-an.... ( i love sabah as well) ntah apa2 bah diaorg tu...

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When i was studying in Bangi somewhere in 1996 during oreintasi, ..i noticed most of the students stayed 'berpuak - puak', ..melayu in one group, cina in one group, indian in one group, ..they were puzzled when they saw us (mostly sabahan) forming one group also but with 2 melayu, 1 chinese, 1 sino india, 2 pure kadazan, 1 sino kadazan in one group, ..one good thing about we sabahan@srwakian is that we can join any group formed by them, but they cannot @ unlikely to join any sabahan @ srwkian group like what we used to be as multiracial in sabah @ srwak ..Buli bah kalo ko!!

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am i racist? are we racist? PROUD TO BE MALAYSIAN! :D

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sabahan@sarawakian were more open minded as compared to west malaysian. we accept & can mingle with all sort of people. Durang punya semangat perkauman sungguh tinggi! durang lazimnya suka buat kaum lain rasa terpinggir, lumrah durang disini suka buat org gaduh!

and lastly, sumandak's response:

the barometer of racism is kind of deep-rooted in the west malaysian culture, instigated by avaricious chest-thumping politicians (however, i've to say that there are still honest ppl whom are opposed to racism). We, the Sabahans are not decreed by the political aspiration of "JANGAN MENCABAR KETUANAN MELAYU" i could still recall the frantic "keris waving gestures" of a certain politician which was aired in the national TV not so long ago, shouting tagline of "kalau tak suka, keluar dari Malaysia". Such acts could certainly turbo-charged the already planted seed of racism sentiments towards malaysian rakyats in general. 

Having said that, I am proud to say that Sabahans & Sarawakians are the most friendliest people in Malaysia. We have a high-tolerance to other cultures & religions. Simply put, whatever ethnic you're from, you'd feel at home walking the streets of Sabah & Sarawak.

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hmmm...for what it's worth, Malaysia is definitely still the safest country in the world, even if not 100% politically united. I believe Sabahans are truly proud of their vast multi-cultural herritages and its spirits of togetherness. The value of simple and laid back life still works as a magical charm that pulls you towards this beautiful state. Welcome to Sabah, my dear weary friends :)